iPhone - It's time to say Goodbye

I was commissioned by InJozi to create icons for
Apple iStore's "It's time to say Goodbye" promotion.
http://iphone.myistore.co.za/

CD: Craig Wells
Copywriter: Shelley Pembroke
Illustrator: Nikki Meier
I've had it since I could speak.
It's as old as time itself.
It does whatever it wants
Time doesn't exist for me any more.
I’m just looking for someone that isn’t you.
I’m just looking for a phone I can depend on.
I’m just looking for something I actually like.
I need a phone that doesn’t embarrass me all the time.
Your hardware makes me want to cry.
Do you remember that special holiday we took to Europe together?
No, I don’t either. Because you could only store 5 photos.
Were you trying to open apps? Or were you participating in a research study to determine how long a person can wait before snapping? If the latter, good job.
Your processor was excavated with those dinosaur bones.
Are you jealous? Because you delete texts I haven’t read.
Every time I plug you into my computer it crashes. It doesn’t even like you.
Your memory is that of a goldfish.
When I type, the screen squeaks. It sounds like a baby duck.
The speaker is so soft that it sounds like the band I’m trying to play
are literally ants with tiny instruments.
After the 5 minutes it took me to open the camera, the puppy had stopped doing that
adorable thing he was doing. My YouTube fame dreams were dashed.
Travel to Mordor and throw it in the fires of Mount Doom.
Ship it to a remote island in South America
Say one or two words and then, take a deep breath, turn the video camera onto
record, and kill it with fire.
Leave it on the floor. You have a new puppy… what can you say.
Strike a bargain with legendary Davy Jones. Watch as your phone sinks below
the waves to serve aboard the Flying Dutchman for all eternity.
See how far you can skip it across the Vaal Dam.
Send it to the depths of the Atlantic like the heart of the ocean in the Titanic movie.
You made it to the end!!
Thank you for watching!!